Egham Boiler Room

A note from Colin

I just wanted to share something that happened leading up to and on mission week that i believe i kind of kept under the radar.

I ran out of money.

Leading up to mission week, i’d seen my account go further and further down and had been asking Jesus for something to help me out. It sort of weighed on me as i had no means of earning any money, and to be honest, i couldn’t see any way of bringing money in myself.
I didn’t want to particularly start asking people for money, and i believed that Jesus would supply for my needs but i had no idea how or where it would come from.

Heading out onto mission week i had about $25 (around about 11 pounds) and i was looking at it thinking, this is going to have to last me until the end of transit (end of July). I remember looking at things like my toothpaste, deodorant and soap and thinking (in hindsight, really faithlessly) ‘Jesus, what’s going to happen when these run out, as they were all running very low

While on mission week i heard beth talk about someone who got a tax return and saying that “they needed it”. I remember saying to jesus “thanks for providing for them,’ but also thinking ‘Jesus, what about me? have you forgotten about me?” Beth also shared at a youth club about Jesus providing the money for her to come on transit, and again, although i loved hearing it, i still saw no change in my money situation.

So I tried to live as cheep as i could over the mission week. One morning we went as a team to a cafe that i’d heard about, (which was set up by a church in aberwysyth) and thought that i’d love to by a coffee. So i borrowed, (yeah i made sure it was ‘borrowed’ money off a friend but at the same time thinking “i have no idea how i am going to repay this” and was still quietly asking Jesus for some money, as i saw the little that i did have running out. i’d also run out of credit on my phone and so couldn’t buy any more, so sadly (and quite stressfully, received txt after txt and knew that i couldn’t reply to). On the last day of the mission trip i was quite happy to be returning home, though quite literally had close to 0 pounds left, but was at least thinking that i could be in a place where i could get by without spending money. Again, i really didn’t have any money and wasn’t sure what i could do. (i think kind of faithlessly i kept asking Jesus to provide, though i had thoughts of ‘maybe i should have been better prepared before coming out, and maybe i should have looked after money differently.)

Underlying all this i was stressing out, thinking i was going to have to live with no money in the bank and what was going to happen.

Then, on returning to guildford i found that i’d recieved an amazingly beautiful email from a friend in Australia saying “i’ve put some money in your account, and would love to help support you for the rest of your time in England. Also let me know how much you’d like and i’ll try rally some support for you.”

… there’s not to much more to say, except that i cried. I had so much relief and was just overwhelmed. I’d seen Jesus supply for me through a friend, and i was just so thankful to both Jesus for supporting me, and his mercy in helping me out, and of course my sacrificially giving friend it also meant that things that i’d committed to financially i could pay off too!

Funnily in writing this, i just see that more and more, that i want to live in a place of knowing that Jesus Can & WILL supply for me, and that he is a ROCK that i can trust in for all this and not stressing out when i can’t see how it’ll work, so Jesus, please forgive me for my lack of faith in you, and please grow me in my dependence on you and trust in you for your provision (and that goes for all of us, cheers